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Archive for January, 2010

I am discovering that I have very good principles, and a good grasp of how to apply them. However, I’m still playing in the area of technique, focusing on the little details but outside the moment of needing to apply them. This is no way to push hands! So I’m training myself to have better Kung Fu.

Now I’m learning how to focus my intention, while simply moving forward. Occasionally I hit an apparent block, but it’s like being shown how to get to McDonalds by the detour signs — since there are millions (probably infinite) numbers of movements I could engage in.

I think too much stress is caused by predicting specifics that are outside one’s ability to really know, which is so much more like Tai Kwan Do, where we amass techniques to be used in different contexts. And everyone reading this knows TKD sucks, right?

By adhering to greater principles of motion (example: determination, creative problem solving, guerrilla DIY, inspiration, passion) I can just trust myself to figure out what to do as a moment arises. The less attached to a specific method I am, the more likely I am to move around an obstacle quickly!

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Acceptance

I used to write all the time here about “blissful nihilism” and I remember WujifaDan once asking how that can be.

Well, I’m in a euphoric mood right now and I want to explain it better. The thing you know when you’re depressed, that makes the entire experience inconsolable, is that all of this is meaningless and futile. And I think the reason you’re inconsolable is because you’re actually right! I read a book where the author kept talking about Plato’s cave, and how this is all like a play. That’s basically right. And that makes people feel depressed sometimes. Or the fact that you don’t really know if you’re dreaming right now and in your dream life, you’re awake. People prefer to take that lightly.

As for me, and I’m not enlightened. I think I’m too attached to my concepts of love and connection (though I’m becoming more and more aware I can’t even define what those are) and also some of my fears of time and my own goals right now to even try any of that. But I like to dance close enough to the truth of it all to be inspired. Like having sex, it’s just basically fun for me.

So the point is, who cares? It’s just my perspective, essentially nihilistic, but at the same time responding to stuff, living, getting into it all… and then there is love, which I enjoy exploring. We all probably like that story, but can I create a version of that story that doesn’t lead to people killing each other or wanting to burn things down or shoot themselves?

Maybe. I’m kind of working on that right now, but it always involves attachments.. sincerity isn’t a good shield against these kinds of things, but I think acceptance probably is. Or if it isn’t, it’s okay… because it doesn’t matter anyway. At all. So nihilism helps me let go, and what could be more blissful?

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