Nearly a month ago, Tairuika tought me how to separate energy from a frame. A frame is just a way of looking at things, and it’s amazing how much I can get attached to a specific frame — they often appear quite real. I have been doing (physical) excercises to tolarate and contain more and more energy — that is energy sans a frame. At this point I can tolerate a very large amount of energy in my body, and I enjoy having a lot more energy. I feel like I am on my way to becoming completely and utterly immune to things like anxiety attacks, and panic, or overload.
However, energy within a specific frame can still get me. By this I mean things like intense feelings directed towards something I wish I had done different (i.e. I’m making the pictures and audio from it in my mind and getting all wrapped up in it). Other examples are feeling like I should be doing something different (expectations or being demanding towards myself). What’s really neat is that now I can actually drop the frame, and experience the energy. Usually the effect that this has is empowering (since the “stress” in the frame is just biological energy in my body, and I can comfortably contain more and more of that). Additionally, once I’ve allowed the energy to move through me, or get into a flow through my body, THEN I can go back and look at the frame (the so-called “source” of the stress response) and percieve it more clearly, without so much attached to it.
I am beginning to notice specific places in my body where energy seems to get stuck (again, not some woo-woo “mystical energy,” but actual biological movement, vibration, feeling, etc)… When I drop my frames an let the energy flow freely, my shoulders tend to relax (from a little to a lot). Or today I was stretching my calves and legs and noticed that more energy could flow through that area in a functional and relaxed way. On the other hand, sometimes I notice energy does not flow as elegantly through certain areas. For instance, the other night I had let go of a lot of frames and also generated a lot of energy, and I noticed a stiltedness or “spastic” quality in my arm movements, compared to my creative vision, eloquence, etc… I also notice it VERY often through my jaw area.. sometimes it feels like other stuff is relaxing and it just outlines how much tension I’ve got in my jaw (as well as some of my other face muscles)
Hopefully I can open up some of those areas more and flow with even more freedom with these progressively bigger and stronger charges…
A Journey Towards Freedom 